May 4th 2009:
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I knew what I signed up for! At least, that’s what a confident Levers jock would think of himself after having survived close to 7 exit interviews by all rungs of management. As a young Indian tired of being part of the consuming generation and who couldn’t think of a constructive way to express my idealism, I joined TFI. If somebody asked me the following questions on May 4th, my answers would have been as follows (In fact, some of them were my answers in my personal interview to Ms. Surjeet Ahluwalia on my assessment day!!)
Q1: What do you think is the biggest challenge in teaching these kids from these communities?
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Ans: Considering that these kids come in with domestic issues, malnourishment and academic backlog, it would be a hard task to deliver the same kind of output as a private education system. If input is (x-2) and resource input conditions are not same as private(y/2), the output of the system whatever be the amplifying ratio(k) applied by teacher will be dampened!!
Q2: What do you think will be the level of academic backlog of students you will teach?
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Ans: 2-3 years at the max considering that they have passed through a system and been in school for 5 years.
Q3: What do you think are minimum resources you expect in the school you teach?
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Ans: Clean and neatly painted classrooms, clean toilets for boys and girls and a reasonable library and playground.
Q4: What are your limitations as a teacher in a classroom?
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Ans: I cannot deliver an animated lecture and not be anything but my simple monotonous self. It seems somehow artificial to myself.I think I cant teach well to kids who don’t have the basic concepts. I am a good teacher for kids with some amount of basics. This assuming I don’t have to battle system-serving principals, errant teachers and snoozing managements.
Q5: Where do you see yourself as a person two years from now?
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Ans: I know that I come from a green bucks chasing, maniacally driven and thick skinned background with least bit of empathy for human relations. I want to see myself as a person who can sit, chat and love my class kids unconditionally.
I want to know, feel and empathize at a personal level on how 80% of my countrymen get through their days with 20% percent of the country’s resources. I hope these two years are going to be a honest journey of personal truth, so that I am eligible at a personal integrity level to serve them in any capacity as a future leader.(These lines should have won me noble peace prize if i had applied in time!!)
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22 weeks fast forward >>>>>>>
October 20th 2009:
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22 weeks (one quarter) into the TFI fellowship, I ask myself once again, do I know what I signed up for?? Yes, but not the least bit the same thing I signed up for on 4th May 2009. I no longer feel like the righteous young Indian who has self sacrificed for the sake of the country. Nor do I feel that I’m the only idealist out there to change the country. In all humility, I now recognize that am a drop on the ocean, trying to shake the tip of an iceberg buried deep underneath for centuries. While the idealism refuses to die in this young Indian blood, it now wears an honest, integral and humble cap with a capital P-pragmatism. My answers today for the same questions having experienced the fellowship for 22 weeks will be:
Q1: What do you think is the biggest challenge in teaching these kids from these communities?
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Ans: YES, My kids come in with domestic issues, malnourishment and academic backlog. YES, I do not have the same resources as a private school. But I do believe that a teacher with commitment 24*7 can make all the difference. My purpose is to show that it can be done. If I can turn around the averages of the class from 20% to 65% in 4 months, I now strongly believe that my knowledge, skills and mindsets lead to my actions in and out of classroom, which lead to student actions and finally student academic impact.
Q2: What is the level of academic backlog of students you teach?
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Ans: In Maths, my kids started at a lowest level of KG to a highest grade of 2nd grade averaging 20% on the 2nd standard year end exam administered as diagnostic. In English, my kids had an average reading fluency of 11 wpm (wordsperminute), writing level of starting KG, listening and speaking level of end KG, Reading Comprehension and grammar averages in single digits. To put it simplistically, my kids started an average 2.5 years behind 3rd standard grade level.
Q3: What do you think are minimum resources you expect in the school you teach?
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Ans: Clean and neatly painted classrooms, clean toilets for boys and girls and a reasonable library and playground.I still expect these as minimum mandatory resources for every school to operate. But I do not have any one of these in the school I teach. I’ve learnt that it is possible to run an efficient school in spite of being under resourced, if you had a principal with a vision and teachers with the hearts and minds in the right places. Software is a necessary condition while hardware of the school is a sufficient condition.
Q4: What are your limitations as a teacher in a classroom now?
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Ans: Unlike 5 months ago, I can captivate my group of 35 kids with my lesson plans on any objective. I have invested almost all of them in education and in values of hard work, honesty and diligence. My limitation as a teacher remains in teaching 35 kids at approximately 4 different levels of readiness and three learning styles namely: audio, visual and kinesthetic.
I am also limited by my own personal capacity to plan across english, maths, science and social with perfect lesson plans catering to the above categories, execute them over 6 hours, collect data, analyze it and redo the same virtuous cycle for every day of the week. Perfection seems elusive with the need to create every resource almost from the scratch in the first year of TFI.
Q5: Where do you see yourself as a person one and half years from now?
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Ans: I have shed a large part of myself during the last 22 weeks. I no longer have a mindset of I and mine. Every thought of mine is a conscious effort to be dedicated to the present and the classroom/school. I came with an agenda of preparing for civil services during my time after school. Now, I commit myself without regret 24*7 to TeachforIndia. With every peak scaled in terms of efficiency in classroom, there is the next peak to scale. There is never an end when your kids are 2.5 years behind and when you’ve taken responsibility for them, like you take for your own kids’ education.
The thought of not having a secure option at the end of two years bothers my family immensely and troubles me once in a while as well. But, I know for sure that at the end of one and half years from now, my kids would have taught me the spirit of a focused yet carefree soul and strength of a humble yet an indomitable will. They have already taught me how to laugh with an empty pocket and stomach, and to love unconditionally with giving and despite suffering!!
Tarun
Fellow, Teach For India.
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